There must be a lesson that I am supposed to learn and just not getting. The other day I was pondering how well I was coping with the up coming holidays. Let me just say that this time of year has always been extremely difficult and trying. These holidays leave a bitter taste in my mouth because of all the family bickering, plus the fact that Mom passed away on Christmas Eve certainly does not help.
Over the past few weeks I had been starting to feel actually excited, happy and looking forward to Christmas. Usually when I hear Christmas music or see decorations my first reaction was to be sad. However, this year I was finally happily singing along with the carols and thinking to myself that the decorations looked nice. But that happy feeling has come to a crashing halt when being hit by a wall of grumpy and controlling people. Ha, just when I thought that I had finally conquered my battle with the Christmas blues. When overwhelmed with negativity and control issues I want to disconnect and not engage with anyone, its a struggle not to get carried along on the blues train.
Its time to remember that I'm the one in control here, and it will be my loss if I let small hurtful, controlling people take my happiness away. I'm going to do my darnedest and get back my Joy!
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